Disturbing Search Requests

Every so often I discover that people have found my blog through slightly bizarre search requests. This one, however, takes the cake! So amusing was it that I was forced to post it to Disturbing Search Requests.

I am this nerdy

And I think I'm okay with that.

Inauguration sickness

Early last Friday morning I couldn't sleep. Little did I know it was the start of a terrible tummy bug - but that's a story you don't want to hear. I turned on the telly. At that time of day the only thing on is US morning talk programs from the previous day.

It was the day of the inauguration of Dubya, and I've never seen more sycophantic political coverage in my life. Sure, some US networks are not well-known for being critical of the President, but I didn't realise everyone lost their edge on inauguration day.

So imagine how fiercely I nodded my head when Bob Herbert expressed in The New York Times just how distasteful this inauguration partying really is. A frivolous, expensive, over the top inauguration in war time is completely disrespectful to fighting soldiers and their families. The fact that the President didn't once mention the work Iraq in his address is unforgivable. Read it.

PS Don't have a login for The New York Times or other sites people link to? Try this.

Little Johnny's blog

This is so much the outside scoop (I think I read about it in a newspaper), but I'm linking to it anyway, as I know enough of you will not have seen it.

To quote some of the 9 November 2004 post (on a theme I have explored previously):

Speaking about lives being over, abortion is nasty and wrong. 'Cause like, killing is bad and stuff. People are saying we shouldn't be telling chicks what to do, but that's news to me, 'cause I thought the idea of being in Government was that we tell people what they can and can't do. And I reckon they shouldn't be killing. It's un-Australian. In totally unrelated news, the troops in Iraq have now gone full-on hardcore sick on this one city. They're just totally shooting and bombing the crap out of it. I like watching all the explosions and things blowing up on TV. It's like a movie, but real. I love seeing good triumph over evil.

Right on Johnny. There's a lot more good stuff where that came from. Check it out.

Katoomba

After the usual stress and bother, we are finally moved into our Katoomba house.

We're still on dial-up internet access (how on earth did we ever cope with it before?) so I'll make this brief.

On our back lawn, I have seen rosellas and sulphur-crested cockatoos, as well as the usual magpies, pigeons and mynah birds. I think I'm gonna like it here.

Stupid bloody Oprah

On television last week was a program I thankfully missed: "Oprah's Hollywood Exclusive: He's Just Not That Into You". The show promoted the book of the same title.

A recent Sydney Morning Herald article said,

When you hear that Oprah Winfrey has declared it a book that "should be on every single woman's nightstand", you know it's something worth reading.

What?!! In what woman's twisted universe is that true? Oprah promotes bloody everything. Have you ever seen her critically interview someone and ask a hard question (and I don't mean a question about a celebrity's love life)?

The gist of the book, which is currently number four on the Amazon bestseller list, is that if he's not calling you or paying enough attention to you, you should move on and stop making excuses for him, because he's just not that into you. This sounds like it might be somewhat empowering, but it's not.

The above article contains an edited extract of the book:

The 'maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship' excuse

Dear Greg,

I have this friend that I've known platonically for about 10 years. Recently he was in town for work, so we met for dinner. All of a sudden it felt like we were on a date. He was completely flirting with me. He even said to me, as he was checking me out, "So, what, you're working the whole 'model thing' now?" (That's flirting, right?) We both agreed that we should get together again soon. I'm disappointed because it's been two weeks and he hasn't called me. Can I call him? He might be nervous about turning the friendship into romance.

Jodi

Dear Friendly Girl,

Two weeks is two weeks, except when it's 10 years and two weeks. That's how long ago he decided whether or not he could date a model or a girl who looks like one. If your dinner/date did feel different to him, it's been two weeks and he's had time to think about it and decide he's just not that into you. Here's the truth guys don't mind messing up a friendship if it could lead to sex.

That whole "I don't want to ruin the friendship" excuse is a racket. If we're really excited about someone, we can't stop ourselves we want more. If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.

The 'maybe he wants to take it slow' excuse

Dear Greg,

There's this guy who calls me all the time. He's recently divorced, and in Alcoholics Anonymous. We got back in touch recently, had lots of phone calls, and then hung out twice in one week and it was really cool. No flirting or making out or anything, but fun. He calls me all the time but doesn't ever suggest we see each other in person again. I would understand if, because of the divorce/alcoholic/starting-a-whole-new-life stuff, he wanted to take things slow. But he still calls me all the time to have long heart-to-heart talks. What the hell should I do with this guy?

Jen

Dear Pillow Talk,

Sadly, not wanting to see you in person is massive as far as dating obstacles go. And as far as the recently divorced/newly sober/starting-a-new life parts, blah blah blah, I'm getting sleepy, I'm going for a nap. When I wake up I'll probably thrill to the news that your friend is taking control of his life. You, however, will still not be going on a date, because despite all your excuses for him, he's still not asking you out. If you're a person who enjoys a phone relationship, talk on! But at this point it seems like he's just not that into you.

If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately, because he'll want to make sure you don't get frustrated and go away.

The 'maybe I don't want to play games' excuse

Dear Greg,

This is dumb. I know you're not supposed to call guys, but I call guys all the time because I don't care! I don't want to play games. I do whatever I want! I've called guys tonnes of times. You're such a square, Greg. Why do you think we can't call guys and ask them out?

Nikki

Dear Nikki,

Because we don't like it. Some guys might like it, but they're just lazy. And who wants to go out with Lazy Guy? I didn't make the rules and I might not even agree with them. I just think you might want to be realistic of how capable you are of changing the primordial impulses that drive all of human nature. Or maybe you're the chosen one.

I'm sorry, what?

In the first two cases, the women should of course just ask the men involved what's going on. The response to the third letter says that this is the last thing women should be doing because men "don't like it".

Is it not crystal clear that women should do their utmost to completely avoid men who want them to be submissive and inexpressive? I'm not suggesting that women need to be noisy, assertive and dominating (I'm not suggesting they shouldn't be either); I'm suggesting that women need to be themselves, and need to be supported by men who will embrace them as people, not as passive followers or trinkets. Any man who actively doesn't want women to be up front is certainly not a man one wants to have a relationship with.

Moreover, men who don't call or don't ask you out might just be the best men in the world. Yes, I'm referring to nerdy boys.

Honestly, why can't men and women just talk to each other as people? And what about homosexuality? If all women stuck to the advice in this book, there'd be no lesbian couples, and most heterosexual couples would have dysfunctional unequal relationships.

Thankfully, a brief feminist response can be found in Bitch Magazine. The comments are also, for the most part, articulate and positive.